NDT Marriage Corner: Children’s Education Is A Marathon, By Francis Ewherido

Francis Ewherido

 

By Francis Ewherido

 

Radio Urhobo

A younger friend of mine reached out to me recently. He needed assistance to pay his children’s school fees. He is not alone in this school fees wahala. Earlier in the week, I read a news report that “some parents in Enugu metropolis have expressed worry over what they described as `unbearable’ increase in tuition fees and levies charged by most private and faith-based schools in the state.”

 

It’s not only in Enugu. It is allover Nigeria. Many parents are groaning, running from pillar to post, developing high blood pressure, and having sleepless nights because school fees. Many Nigerians are going through mainly economic-induced pains, no doubt, but these school fees-induced pains are self-inflicted. I have a simple question? Are you under an obligation to keep your children in those schools? Why not change their schools and put them in schools you can afford and have your peace of mind? From the beginning, one of the major factors for deciding which school to put my children is what I can afford in the worst case scenario, not my current financial status. This is because your children’s education is a marathon, not a sprint. I started in 2001. I am still in it.

 

Back to my exchange with my friend. I sat him down asked him relevant questions and told him the bitter truth. He’s unemployed right now and what the wife earns is barely enough for the family monthly upkeep. “My friend, you don’t start what you cannot sustain. Even if you do, retrace your steps start on the right lane. You have no business keeping your children in private schools. Change their school to a government-owned school near your house so that you don’t have to spend money on transport to take them to and fro school. If there is no government school near you, look for a good government school around and put them there. Your wife is a teacher  who teaches other people’s children for a living. You taught previously before you became unemployed. When your children get back from school, both of you should take turns to teach them without saturating them because children need some time off from studies.” In life, you must have money or time or both. It is an anomaly to have neither. He left without getting a kobo from me, but thanked me for teaching him some valuable life lessons which will form the basis for our discussion today.

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I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and one of my missions is to ensure that those coming after me who are willing do not make similar mistakes. One, distinguish between luxury and necessities. Some people around will support you where the support is a necessity, but you scarcely get support if people consider your request a luxury. Luxuries are supposed to be self-funded. Sending children to a private school anywhere in the world is a luxury. Before you start it ensure you have sufficient funds in place or you are certain of where the funds will come from. If the funds are coming from external sources, what is the adequacy and reliability. It’s always to stand on your feet to hang your hat, but if you are going to use a ladder or stand on a chair, ensure that they will always be available. If not, anytime someone takes them away and you need to retrieve your hat, you might be stranded.

 

Some of my friends and contemporaries sent their children abroad for university education. One of my children wanted to study abroad. He brandished a scholarship to me. I told him that I don’t want to start what I am not sure I could finish without stressing myself unduly. Moreover, his siblings have to get a similar treatment. It’s level playing field in my household. I saw the enormous pressure some of the people who sent their children abroad went through. I didn’t want to put myself under such pressure. Some were borrowing and running from pillar to post. One even went about scamming people and denying business partners their share of the proceeds. He ruined relationships. Understandably, not every person will say good things about and you are not supposed to live your life to please people, but when too many people say the same negative things about you, that’s not a good way to live.

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Moreover, I didn’t like what I saw abroad, especially in the United Kingdom. Some of these children derailed. I saw drug addicts and deviants. We are now in an era where we have to be compliant. We are no longer allowed to talk about some of these their strange choices. Some have dropped out of school because their parents could not cope with their fees and upkeep or they dropped out of school but continued deceiving and collecting money from their parents. Someone very close to me asked the friend’s son the university he was attending. He told her, University of Reading. From the way he pronounced “Reading,” she knew he was lying. When she got back to Nigeria, she told the father who requested her to check on him or give him money that he should investigate the son if he was actually in the University of Reading. The father did and found out the truth the hard way.

 

I always wanted my children to do their first degree in Nigeria and become more mature before travelling out for further education.  In those days Nigerian universities were among the best in the world. In spite of the challenges over the years, I still consider them good institutions. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with the universities, especially government-owned universities. The major problem was the frequent strikes and inadequate funding. I still cannot understand how the late President Muhammadu Buhari allowed two of his ministers to let their egos to stand in the way and made people’s children to lose a whole academic session because of a prolonged Academic Staff Union of Universities strike (ASUU). Another year was lost to Covid-19 “imprisonment.” While private universities were innovating and continued their studies online, many government-owned universities were static and very slow to adapt. 

 

Funding is another major problem. But some academics told me that the funding issue is two-fold. What comes from the government is inadequate, but the major issue is how each university applies the funds and the internally-generated revenue. Visit some government-owned higher institutions and you will understand what they are talking about. Na dem dey the system.

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There are two types of schools in Nigeria, government-owned schools and privately-owned schools. Government-owned schools are cheaper because they are heavily subsidised or free in some cases. Privately owned schools are relatively more expensive because they are businesses and have to generate the income to meet their obligations and remain in business. Private schools are “luxuries” meant for only those who can afford it. Before you opt for private schools, have the resources to pay the fees and meet other obligations. People mistake of equating cheaper and expensive education for quality and value. Yes, sometimes that is the truth, but not always. I have experienced both. The course your child wants to study should partly determine the higher institution to choose. I can confidently tell you that government-owned universities remain the best in certain courses. Do your own investigations. 

 

Let me also add that every human being is a combination of nature and nurture. The discussion on which is more important is still ongoing, but formal education is only a component of nurture. There are other very important components in nurture that add up to nature to determine what your children would become in life.

 

Public schools are meant for everybody. My appeal to the people in charge of education in various governments at the local, state and federal government levels is to upgrade the standard of primary and secondary school, especially, and funding of education generally in all educational institutions as it is obtained abroad. People abroad send their children to schools of their choice not by compulsion because they are government-owned or privately owned. My simple question to those in charge of education in government: Can you put your children in these public schools? If you cannot, then it is morally reprehensible not to fix and properly fund the public schools.




















































































































































































































































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